Here’s to kicking off the weekend right with another video from The Onion. Think the NFL has problems with its players off the field? Well, you clearly do not follow professional fencing. Pacman Jones “making it rain” in the club is nothing compared to the international, multifaceted debauchery of fencing’s bad boy, Raphael De La Croix.

Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist

“Le Jaguar” is facing more years than Pacman, Plaxico and Vick, combined, if he doesn’t clean up his act. It really is unbelievable that a supposed “classy” league like the IFF would tolerate this crap. I mean, he’s just a fencer. It’s not like he should be able to get away with murder (or jewel heists) just because of his celebrity. Unbelievable. The IFF is becoming a league of hooligans and scoundrels.

Now, I know there are some blind naysayers out there who are in complete denial and don’t buy the stories. Look. You just have to ask yourself one question: “How many 6′1″ men with pencil mustaches can there be?”

Brian Laesch doesn’t understand why The Onion isn’t considered the funniest thing on the Internet (if it’s not).